I’m glad that, as a society, we’ve gotten to a place where most people bristle at being called a “racist” or a “sexist” or a “homophobe.” The only problem with this is, knowing what we know about how neuroscience, cognitive behavior, psychology, and basic pattern recognition work, worrying about whether a specific person is or is not a bigot is somewhat besides the point.
I am a self-described feminist who tries to be an ally. I also grew up in the United States; in our society, learning about our history, and absorbing our media. I hold sexist and racist ideas in my head. I wish I didn’t. I don’t like the fact that these norms have insinuated themselves into the very way I understand reality. But just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
This is what people talk about when they say systemic injustice. Systemic injustice is tricky precisely because it’s so thoroughly intwined in the fabric of our society that we often don’t even realize it’s there. Study after study shows the consequences of unconscious bias. It’s not that unconscious bias is the only societal injustice at play (unfortunately). It’s that absolutely no one is free from the effects of unconscious bias; of absorbing societal norms. That’s why they’re called “norms.” They are ideas that are so deeply ingrained in our society that we don’t even recognize that perhaps we should question them.
Intent Doesn’t Always Matter
When a news story comes to the forefront about something people worry is sexist or racist, inevitably someone defends the “perpetrator” with “oh, but they’re such a good person,” or “they didn’t mean for it to be taken that way.” And sure, that’s important when deciding whether that person is a complete jerk or not. But their intent isn’t important when trying to determine if their behavior is having a negative effect on other people. Just because you don’t intend to have a negative effect doesn’t mean that you don’t. And while it’s very difficult to hear that something you meant in a positive way is having a damaging effect on some people, the difficulty in hearing it doesn’t negate the damage it does.
One example that comes to mind is Jameis Winston’s recent attempt at an inspirational speech in front of a group of young girls and boys.
“All my young boys, stand up. The ladies, sit down. But all my boys, stand up. We strong, right? We strong! We strong, right? All my boys, tell me one time: I can do anything I put my mind to. Now a lot of boys aren’t supposed to be soft-spoken. You know what I’m saying? One day y’all are going to have a very deep voice like this [in deep voice]. One day, you’ll have a very, very deep voice.
But the ladies, they’re supposed to be silent, polite, gentle. My men, my men [are] supposed to be strong. I want y’all to tell me what the third rule of life is: I can do anything I put my mind to. Scream it!”
Jameis Winston probably didn’t set out to reinforce a societal norm that men should stand, shout, and be empowered while women should sit quietly. People defended him all over the place saying that he didn’t mean to send any kind of sexist message. And while that’s certainly preferable to him intending to send a sexist message, it doesn’t actually change the fact that several young girls were sitting in that class and were told to sit still and be quiet while their male classmates shouted “I can do anything I put my mind to!” It doesn’t change the fact that that will be added to a mountain of societal messages telling them a similar “be quiet, be polite, let the men speak and do” message.
Are We All Racist?
If the bigotry of our society is systemic, does that mean we are all doomed to be racist, sexist, homophobes? It depends what you think those words mean.
If you must have malicious intent to be considered a bigot, then no, I don’t think most people have malicious intent. Most people just want to live their lives. But it does mean that perhaps we should focus less on whether an individual is a racist or sexist and worry more about the impact our actions and words are having.
There is such a negative connotation to the idea that yes, we are all racist, sexist, and homophobic that I hesitate to declare it. No, I don’t think most people want to be racist, sexist and homophobic. But if you live in this society, with our history, with our media, if you have a brain that is fully functioning, then yes, you have absorbed racist, sexist, and homophobic ideas. It is not your fault. It is not in your power to change it after the fact. What is in your power is whether you acknowledge or deny these societal and historic forces.
Social Justice Has a Semantics Problem
After Brexit, I saw an interview with a woman who said “I’m not racist, I just don’t like Black people…and I don’t know why.” But if not liking someone simply because of the color of their skin isn’t racist, what is?
Social justice is relatively new, linguistically speaking. We don’t have a lot of words to signify the nuances involved. It’s why terms like “privilege” have become popular, and why they have become controversial. People are trying to find ways to describe social phenomenon that we simply don’t already have the language to describe.
Knowing what I know about systemic ideas, when I see someone declare “I’m not racist…” or “I’m not sexist,” in some ways it sounds to me like they’re trying to declare they have brain damage. Or that they failed kindergarten. Obviously, they aren’t saying that. What they are saying is that they haven’t thought about the difference between systemic injustice and personal prejudice.
This difference is why controversy over terms like “reverse racism” and “misandry” exist. If we’re talking about societal structures of oppression, reverse racism and misandry simply do not exist — they are not in the fabric of our history and our media. If we’re talking about individual prejudices, then sure, an individual can certainly be prejudiced against those who don’t face systemic and historic oppression; individual people can be prejudiced against white people or against men. But we’re talking about different scales here. We’re talking about something ingrained in the fabric of our society verses something specific individuals think and act on.
Shifting Focus From Combatting Labels to Combatting Bigotry
I worry that people are more concerned with not being labelled a “sexist” or a “racist” than they are with not actually doing or believing sexist or racist things. If I live in this society and (unintentionally) buy into racist and sexist norms, does this make me “a” sexist? “A” racist? I don’t really know. I don’t really care. I care much more about whether I wind up (unintentionally) doing things that have a racist or sexist effect. We are all capable of bigotry. In fact, if you have a fully functioning brain, you (and I) have absorbed sexist and racist norms. I’d rather focus on recognizing and attempting to correct racist or sexist actions so that they don’t negatively affect those on the receiving end of them instead of worrying about whether I offend people by saying that we are all human, subject to human imperfections.
Now That I Know, What Do I Do?
- Understand that being human means being fallible. In a society with misogynistic, racist, and homophobic norms, we’re all going to slip up. We’re all going to inadvertently do things that buy into these norms. If you do, and it’s pointed out to you, try to listen.
- Listen to those on the receiving end of injustice. Yes, everyone is entitled to their own perspective and their own opinion. But some people have the benefit (or misfortune) of direct experience with these societal structures. Give those with direct experience greater weight in your deliberations.
- Work to minimize unconscious bias. This…is a much longer conversation. But there are ways of trying to account for and correct for unconscious bias — assigning numbers to job applicants to obscure names from the process (which can often indicate gender or race), for example.
- Challenge your own assumptions. Do your own research (Don’t expect People of Color or women to do the research for you. It’s the internet age. There are a million articles about any given topic arguing any given position. Google it.)
- Don’t assume you’re immune to bias because you’re also on the receiving end of it. I’m a woman and I hold misogynistic norms in my head. It sucks, but it’s true. I may be more likely to come into contact with examples that challenge those norms. But that doesn’t mean they don’t insinuate themselves into my brain. The corollary to this is that one person’s approval of a behavior does not mean that all people of that demographic group will approve of that behavior.
- Understand that experiencing societal injustice is an exhausting and emotional endeavor. So no, those pointing out your slip-ups won’t always be diplomatic about it. It’s human to get defensive. But, if you can, try to hear past the tone and listen to the substance. It will only serve you better if you do.
- Decide to be an ally; figure out what that means to you. (To me, it means trying to listen more and trying to amplify the voices of those whose voices are often silenced.)
- Don’t expect perfection — from yourself or others. We’re all human. We all mess up.
